Yesterday was a powerful day of enlightening conversations with our kids. Leigh initiated it by reiterating a conversation she had with Freya. Tuesday nights Freya has “nastics”, which means Malone and Stella hang with me, giving Leigh some alone time with Freya. Last night she capitalized on that and let Leigh in on some serious shit happening in kindergarten. It went like this:
Freya: Mom, there are mean girls at school that are suxy.
Leigh: What did you say?
Freya: There are girls at school that think they are suxy.
Leigh: What does that mean?
Freya: You know, it means they dress fancy and do fancy stuff.
At this point Leigh clued in that Freya was referring to these girls as “sexy”.
Leigh: Freya, I don’t want you using that word.
Freya: Ya, it’s not appropriate. Mom and I know I’m also not allowed to say shitpack. Like you never say shitpack.
Leigh: (Trying not to laugh) Right, you are not allowed to say that. Who says that?
Freya: Some girls at school say “shut your mouth you shitpack”. Mom, I was shocked out.
Leigh: Freya, shocked out doesn’t make sense. You were just shocked.
At this point Leigh questioned whether Freya was messing with her. Regardless, she got to my house, walked in and began saying what she had just heard. Obviously I laughed, but it also inspired me to “talk” to my kids. If five-year-olds are calling each other “shitpacks” what are my nine and ten year old children saying? I felt it incumbent upon me to investigate. Turns out it is way worse than shitpack. Kai went on to unleash a whole slew of curse words – not that he uses them, of course not, but some boys at school do. Not only did he say “motherf*cka” but it was accompanied by some gangster gestures. The most difficult task is hearing your child use these terms without laughing. After a pointed discussion where I outlined my expectations; including the typical parenting dogma, I realized I learned a few things that could help my fellow parents:
- Do not ask your kids what profanities they use, ask what their friends say.
- Understand that when your oldest child tells you “all I have ever said is shut-up“, that you now have an even bigger issue, a liar.