Meg and I are invited to attend BloggerBash in New York City next week. To say we are excited is an understatement. Meg has never been to the Big Apple, so I felt it incumbent upon me to plan a proper trip, which meant adding extra days. We will be gone from Tuesday to Friday. I am hoping our four day excursion will give us enough time to absorb the fact that we are away. Getting dressed without having to listen to our kids fight, ask for the iPad, or bombard us with questions will be a vacation in and of itself.
It just so happens our trip to New York coincides with the one week we put the kids camp. I am adamant about putting them in an additional week now. I want to know the feeling of having the kids at camp while I’m at home. This fortunate stroke of serendipity will no doubt make Dylan and Wizzy’s week calmer and easier to manage; something I didn’t want for them.
I know, I sound like a nasty bitch, but I would love for Dylan to have the “full service” parenting experience; equipped with chaos, conflicting schedules and tight timelines. Meg and I both know exactly what will happen when we are gone; Dylan and Wizzy will order pizza, make peanut butter sandwiches and everyone will act like human beings. There will be no fighting and we will both be made to look like complaining fools. It would happen this way with or without camp, so I suppose I should be grateful the kids will have a fun-filled week, albeit an unhealthy one.
What makes this trip all the more exciting are the recent hiccups we have experienced. I booked our tickets online; imagine my suprise when I checked our flight times and saw the name Mrs. Meghan Wilmer. I cursed myself, “you fucking asshole”, then attempted to skim through the 19-page contract where I read “if changes are made after 24hrs of booking significant charges may be incurred”. It gave me pins and needles, I felt sick. I immediately called customer service and told the rep Colleen my story. She replied with “Give me your number. I’ll call West Jet and call you back“.
To add to the hysteria, Meg is in the process of renewing her passport. The first time she sent it in, it was rejected. She screwed up the form. Currently, she is still waiting on it and we leave Tuesday. That’s tight, even for me. Here was our conversation:
Meg: I need the flight itinerary, the passport office doesn’t think they can have mine to me in time.
Me: Are you serious? I got my passport last May, that’s when you were supposed to have yours done.
Meg: Well, you’re a real hero. I didn’t get mine done and now it’s totally fucked. They said they can’t guarantee it will be ready by Monday, but I have to pay $95 for them to “try”.
Me: I find this astonishing, everyone thinks I’m the idiot. I mailed mine in, surely you could have found the time over the past seventeen months to do it?
Meg: Can you send the itinerary and stop giving me shit? I get it.
Me: There’s a problem with it.
Meg: A problem with what?
Me: I spelled your fucking name wrong.
Meg: Leigh, are you serious?
Luckily, Colleen gave me this response when she called back: “West Jet is great, they made the name change to W-I-S-M-E-R, no charges. I’ll send the revised tickets through now.” I reconfirmed the spelling using my new found appreciation for the NATO Phonetic Alphabet : Whiskey-India-Sierra-Mike-Echo-Romeo.
Now we just have to wait and see if Meg’s passport will be ready for Monday. Don’t worry, I will go without her.