Unlike Meg, who I know is secretly hoping for a summer full of routine, I am going to let the summer happen; which means there will be eight weeks of chaos and anarchy. I can’t do the library thing because I lose books and pay too many fines. I also spend the whole time staring at teenagers who are acting inappropriately and get annoyed.
I have four major challenges to manage this summer. They are: my house, the children, my workload and the iPad. My house is either super clean, or an absolute disaster. The girls are either being so quiet because they’re watching garbage television or are fighting with each other. My workload has intensified and that is presenting some interesting predicaments. Things like phone calls, quiet contemplation and business trips are all the more complicated with a house full of kids.
The iPad has become my greatest annoyance over the past few months. My girls have become super interested in playing with it, always to “listen” to music. I am convinced they have all watched Fifth Harmony’s Work From Home music video, which is the most ridiculous video I’ve ever seen. Twerking by a fucking cement mixer-give your head a shake. I’m sick of hearing myself say “no watching videos” and sneaking upstairs stealthy to see if I can catch them. Managing the iPad has become a total time waster for me.
I have set a few guidelines, which I feel will give me more balance this summer:
- Get rid of the iPad.
- No amusement parks or public beaches.
- Utilize my new babysitter.
- Create a realistic list of chores for the girls.
- Yell early in the morning, so the guilt lifts by bedtime.
- Keep wine chilled.
- Go to the park before 10am.
- No watching Full House.
- Be passive aggressive with friends who have cottages. I wish I had one.
- Spend a lot of time in my mom’s backyard. Sorry mom.
To warm weather and sunshine.