Dinner Conversations – Swearing Included

By Tuesday, September 13, 2016

How have you failed today?

Apparently, that is a really important question to ask your kids. Meg and I began including it in our dinner conversations; what a disaster that has become for me.

The first time I asked Freya the question, she started to cry. She went on to tell me that she can’t write her numbers the right way because she’s left handed. I tried to convince left-handed people are advanced, she wasn’t getting it. I have decided that question is not good for my family and is now off the table.

Fast forward to last night. I made chicken parmesan sandwiches and had so much food I generously invited Meg’s kids over for dinner. Anytime the kids sit around the table together, weird shit goes down. Here is the dinner conversation, this is verbatim:

Stella: One of my teachers is mean and swears at us.

Me: What? What do they say?

Stella: “Shut up” and “What the heck”.

Me: That’s rude. Don’t say those words.

Freya: Mom, do you know the other “s” word?

Me: Yes, Freya. I know all the swear words.

Seriously. That was my response? I sound like a teenager. So immature. I guess I hoped it would stop the conversation.

Malone: Yeah, a lot of kids in my class swear.

Me: All six of you know you’re not allowed to swear, right?

Malone: I know mom.  One of the kids who sits next to me said “Shit, do I have to fucking sit near you?”

Me: What! That is really bad language and it’s very rude. You should tell the teacher you would like to sit somewhere else.

Jax: Yeah well, a lot of the girls in my grade go around saying they want to make-out with One Direction.

Freya: I’m really stretchable. (she has now stood up and is holding her foot up by her face.)

Jax: Freya that has nothing to do with swearing.

Stella: What is making out?

Kai: Stella you’re too young. It’s weird.

Me: Guys, I want less talking and more eating.

Billie: I thought we were going to share about our day?

The whole talk-about-your-day-thing is overrated. I don’t ever remember my parents asking us how our day went. All they did was yell at us at the table for having deplorable manners. Clearly, that would be a much safer option for someone like me.

Making out-I have to explain that to my girls? I should ask Meg what she said. Have you had to explain it? What do you say?

Here’s to quiet dinners!



By the way, Meg sent me this article: How to have great dinner conversations with your kids, she thought it would help. I told her to beat it.

Incase you missed it, our struggle with swearing is not new.

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