How have you failed today?
Apparently, that is a really important question to ask your kids. Meg and I began including it in our dinner conversations; what a disaster that has become for me.
The first time I asked Freya the question, she started to cry. She went on to tell me that she can’t write her numbers the right way because she’s left handed. I tried to convince left-handed people are advanced, she wasn’t getting it. I have decided that question is not good for my family and is now off the table.
Fast forward to last night. I made chicken parmesan sandwiches and had so much food I generously invited Meg’s kids over for dinner. Anytime the kids sit around the table together, weird shit goes down. Here is the dinner conversation, this is verbatim:
Stella: One of my teachers is mean and swears at us.
Me: What? What do they say?
Stella: “Shut up” and “What the heck”.
Me: That’s rude. Don’t say those words.
Freya: Mom, do you know the other “s” word?
Me: Yes, Freya. I know all the swear words.
Seriously. That was my response? I sound like a teenager. So immature. I guess I hoped it would stop the conversation.
Malone: Yeah, a lot of kids in my class swear.
Me: All six of you know you’re not allowed to swear, right?
Malone: I know mom. One of the kids who sits next to me said “Shit, do I have to fucking sit near you?”
Me: What! That is really bad language and it’s very rude. You should tell the teacher you would like to sit somewhere else.
Jax: Yeah well, a lot of the girls in my grade go around saying they want to make-out with One Direction.
Freya: I’m really stretchable. (she has now stood up and is holding her foot up by her face.)
Jax: Freya that has nothing to do with swearing.
Stella: What is making out?
Kai: Stella you’re too young. It’s weird.
Me: Guys, I want less talking and more eating.
Billie: I thought we were going to share about our day?
The whole talk-about-your-day-thing is overrated. I don’t ever remember my parents asking us how our day went. All they did was yell at us at the table for having deplorable manners. Clearly, that would be a much safer option for someone like me.
Making out-I have to explain that to my girls? I should ask Meg what she said. Have you had to explain it? What do you say?
Here’s to quiet dinners!
By the way, Meg sent me this article: How to have great dinner conversations with your kids, she thought it would help. I told her to beat it.
Incase you missed it, our struggle with swearing is not new.